Are you caught up in a cycle of shame for not constantly being on the move? For not constantly being useful? For not staying on the ball because youâre âlazyâ? For feeling all these things and still not having the motivation to do anything about it? Me too.
Shame is something my therapist told me I hold, way back in 2017. It definitely comes in waves but the current situation has really been pushing it my face. I have such a hard time, SUCH A HARD TIME, balancing between pushing myself to constantly do things to the point of self-destruction and cutting myself some slack to the point of self-sabotage. The way I feel worthwhile and important is by having a lot on the go, a lot that I enjoy and love and feel proud of, but I just do not have that at this moment. Iâm not in a place where I feel good about myself but I also have no motivation to fix it and that only makes me feel worse ð I feel like garbage even typing this because itâs not a plea for sympathy or pity, itâs the reality of the workings of my brain every once in a while.
Iâm all about positivity and Iâm all about gratitude but this post is here to say that sometimes everything sucks. I donât know if thatâs okay but it just be that way sometimes. Iâm incredibly lucky that I have the ability and resources to seek professional help when I feel this way, and I strongly suggest you find it if you feel this way too. I have felt this before and I have gotten out of it for the better, so the only thing I can say is that I know I will again, and you will too. Iâm rooting for you âð»